Tuesday, November 27, 2012

In pursuit of the thing.

My kids are doing pretty well on finding what they really enjoy.
Kaya is all about video gaming and dancing, in the summer he really loves to fish. He is really just beginning to tap into his big picture. He is a little hesitant to really dig into things as his Dyslexia holds him back from engaging on his own, he always needs a push. It's getting better, and he is figuring out how to navigate through his world regardless, it just takes more time, and a little help. I am trying to find him more good and kid friendly game designing resources. One that will challenge him a little more. He is beyond many of the free resources on the web.
 Ev is into dancing, and mushrooms at the moment. He is still young and has not tapped into his thing yet, he has barely started seeing the opportunities before him.
Marlin loves reading, designing things ( pinterest, polyvore) she is way into fostering dogs. Anything related to organizing something. As she is my oldest, I am really able to see her path come into view. She likes details, interacting with people, making the personal connection, making a difference in someones day. I used to laugh, but when she was little, she really, really wanted to be a grocery bagger.
Now I see it. She likes to organize, chat with people, smile and make them happy. This happens completely within the fostering as well. She has to pick a pup, help organize the transport, pick it up, care for it, and hand it off with a smile. She can see it full circle at the end. She has since upgraded from bagger to a hotel concierge, or boutique owner.
I am still wading through it all. My kid's lives are so different from mine. As a kid, going through school I had dreams, things I was really into, but school got in the way. I  remember clearly being told that being a Dolphin Trainer was pretty much a pipe dream, and it probably wasn't going to happen, so what else did I want to be? There wasn't much in me beyond an intense interest in animals and nature. I don't remember being crushed, just that it wasn't going to happen. I think somehow I took the message that you are not really in control, but that you would fall into something.  That is not a good notion really.
You fall into a hole, or a pile of poo, it is not a way to live your life!
I want the opposite for my kids. I want to give them the chance to explore their interests seriously with out barriers. I am happy that they are able to have such a hands on, fluid, mostly child driven education in which they feel a sense of control. That they feel like they are doing things, big things, important things. I want my kids to find and pursue what they love. This is the time to do it.
Childhood is the absolute perfect time.
 They are truly free and able to follow their own paths until they find the right one for them. I know many adults, including myself, who thought there was one or two main trails to follow to succeed. I wonder what would have happened if I stayed on my path, the one towards the ocean, because I know that if I did, I could have been one happy Dolphin Trainer.


Earthetarian said...

Wow Kim. You have nailed it on the head yet again. Know what? I wanted to be a dolphin trainer, too.

Jessica said...

Aw Kim, this is such a heartfelt post! Watching our little ones grow into big ones is bittersweet. Amazing and powerful and awe inspiring, but bittersweet none the less.

I think of the paths not taken and then realize that not one of the choices I made would have led me to that point in life where my path crossed with Gregs. It may have been someone else, at some other place in time and I may not have Grace and Lilah right now but Billy and Suzy and that will be fine I'm sure but I'm really glad I chose the path I did, even if it meant some crappy jobs and horrid bosses and pissed off friends, because all those things led me to NYC for one summer when I met Greg.

Life is pretty cool like that.
You would be an awesome dolphin trainer. You ARE an awesome person no matter your profession.

Frogcreek said...

Yes! I often think of how different it could have been too. Except it all would have been fine. I still think of how great it would be if everybody was doing what they loved. I think the world would be so different. Especially for kids who's thing seems trivial or weird. and not, you know, in the top 20 most common things people do.

Frogcreek said...

You, too, Steph? :>D

Homeschool said...

I think the wide mainstream highway to somewhere is not nearly as interesting or meaningful as the unique paths our kids are on. We are lucky to be able to open doors for them and expose them to so much that they wouldn't get inside 4 walls. Our children are lucky that we celebrate their uniqueness and are not constantly trying to shave off their rough edges. It is a delight to see how they are evolving and to witness their journey.
And also to realize that we as Moms and our kids guides are also caught up in this "becoming force" in the universe and are evolving too.

Anonymous said...

This is a great post. My husband is one of those people who just always did what he wanted and followed that path (he had hippie parents who encouraged that--maybe they were ahead of their time). His job is not necessarily glamorous--though he does take care of the trees for the WTC Memorial; and he doesn't make a ton of money--though I have been able to stay home with the all in all, I guess it worked out for him.

I had the more conventional childhood and though my parents told me that being happy was more important than making a lot of money, I still struggle with what my kids "should" do versus what they really want to be doing. I am getting there, though. I want their to realize THEIR own unique potential.

Frogcreek said...

It is very hard! I want them to be happy most of all, but in reality it isn't very easy to be happy if you can't make enough money, and to make money, generally you need a good paying job, to get that job you need to compete and be better or appear better I should say, than others also seeking that job, and to do that, so many hoops must be jumped..... In fact it's just scary! But I think that if they are truly doing what they love and are naturally gifted at, the rest will follow.
I hope...
But all that said, doing all the things that they are supposed to like go to college, land a job, doesn't mean that anything good will happen. They may just be an overqualified, unemployed, college debt carrying depressed person.

Carolina Gazit said...

ha ha ha, I also wanted to be a grocery bagger! Now, thanks to you, I see why, and I can explain it to mom. That is so funny!!!