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Friday, July 31, 2009

untitled

My soul has settled and all the murkiness has cleared.
With a little help from my friends, I feel more grounded and comfortable than I have ever been.
 This journey is about me and my family, not about a philosophy, or about doing it right.
I do have a group of people who totally get me. In my closest group, there are 5 of us. 3 of them are children, but they are on equal ground with myself and the other adult in this group.
 Wink, wink.
My other folks, well, they are sharing this path here, online, through words, and images
 Some I have met, others, not yet.
 SO very good.
 Thank you helping me refocus and shrug it off.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Feeling so lazy because my brain is on fire

in a good way. Ever since that damn camping trip, I have been all laid back, hanging with the kids.
 Actually this week went by so fast, I can't believe it's the weekend already.
 Happens like that now and then.
 We are still having a crappy summer weather wise. There have been a few decent days.
 A few.
 This was one of them.
 We had a nice playdate with a whole gaggle of friends, did some art, and skateboard ramp stuff.
 2 of the bathrooms smell like pee. I can't find the source, I have bleached, wiped, scrubbed. Can't figure it out. 
Boys....
 Look at the puppy.
It's hard not to eat her.
She is kind of a tricked out dog. Doing really well with the house training. She knows how to sit, lie down, give paw and is currently mastering the beginnings of roll over. We are wanting play dead ( BANG!) and beg. Bet she'll do it!
Good doggie!.
 Chicks are getting big. They are currently outside now in a rabbit hutch. Soon they'll be with the big chickens. About 5 more months untill we see an egg.
I wonder how many roosters there will be?
Look at E's belly. 
Quite the scene of mayhem and death.
See the mauled seals blood wafting up to the shark?
Love it!
 M got her retainer. 
Kind of exciting.
 She is obsessed with the fact that it needs to be in for 12 hours.
 12 hours.
12.
TWELVE
Grandpa came over tonight to celebrate his birthday!
He brought chocolate ice cream cake!
Well anyway, it's been a weird week. Perpetual house cleaning, with not a lot of progress. Lots of time with the puppy, and playing around outside. Me realizing that summer is nearly over and I feel cheated.
 Our good friends Julie and Ryan are leaving, moving away. 
 It'll be good for them.
I know we will visit, stay in touch.
But it won't be the same.
 wah.
WAH!
 I have a feeling it'll be a long winter.
My kids are all about workbooks and math this week. I find it rather amusing. It's totally on their terms, they stop when they please, don't do it for a week, sometimes finish one book in 2 days. Sometimes when they are bored or arguing, I will mention some bookwork, they get excited to do them.
 I guess it is fun and challenging when it's on your own terms and not mandatory.
 I have had conflicted feelings about unschooling. Not in a doubting way. But I love to see what they know, and how they tackle new problems. I love to have lots of resources on hand, and like to leave them about. I do mention sitting with me to kill time working on a few probs in a book when there is interpersonal drama going on.
I feel like a traitor or that I am not a true "unschooler"
 But then again I feel like if the kids want to do it sometimes, and that I respect when they say no, then we are all good.
I think I need to accept than I am a rabid strewer, and that I plant lots of stuff around for them to discover with an intention that it will be fun for them, whether mere exposure or a deft interest begins. That I  find pleasure watching their thought processes as they muddle through a difficult prob, and I feel so excited when I see the joy on their faces when they have overcome a challenge. And as long as the learning is in their control and pace, it's fine, and I should stop torturing myself about it.
Stop 
the 
 incessant
 back and forth.
In my brain.
 Am I doing enough?
Wanting proof too much?
Lack of trust?
 That's where the labels throw me for a loop. 
I need to stop reading stuff, and just do what feels right for all of us. I need to just work on cultivating mindfulness.
I think I worry about everybody else's needs and put mine on the back burner.
 Well that just doesn't work.
 All this thinking.
 Makes me crazy.
 Crazy as a loon.




Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Room fish and organization

K set up a tank in his and E's room.
 They have been pining for their own fish.
So, after letting the tank sit a bit, I promised after we returned from camping that we would fill it with alive things.
 So off we went, and each boy picked 2 fish.
 K chose a puffer, and a spotted catfish.
 E, a dalmatian molly, and a tiger barb.
Happiness!
While we were at the store, K picked out a storage chest thing to organize his extensive collection of stuff.
Bottle caps, pokemon, rocks, shells, calling cards, hotel room cards, special trinkets, you know, special treasures.
And he spent a whole lot of time organizing them very carefully.
He says he feels peaceful knowing that they all have their own spot, instead of being all together in various boxes.
 It's nice to feel at peace.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Rockin the campground!

This past weekend we headed out to Plymouth Ma. to camp out with some others like us that we have never met before.
It was great to just hang out and chat with people who we can relate so well with. Jean and I hit it off, and there will be get togethers throughout the year. The only other family there with a blog was Heather. It was a treat to meet them as well.
Mostly though, at least for me, it was about the kids networking with other kids
with lives like theirs.
 My kids came away fulfilled and happy.
So did I . 
It was really refreshing and peaceful to be surrounded by such kind people.
It was an amazing weekend.
 We can't wait for next year.
We built 
fires
Night ones, too.
We 
went 
fishing.
We hung out.
We ate yummy food.
We spent lots of time at the lake.
Horse
shoed.
boated.
We dug deep.
Luckily, we will get to see most of the people again, at the end of August at NEU conference.
Can't wait.
Thanks Jean, for organizing this.
We really had a great time, and I now have a better appreciation for sour apple smirnoff's!

Friday, July 17, 2009

Dino park

We geared up with some friends to head out to the Dino place in CT.
 One of the first things we did is pick an activity. M and K chose to mine for gems in the cave.
 First they had to ring the bell to get in, 
 then they mined like crazy!
 E decided to pan for gold.
 I helped him out.
 Then after the big dig,
they tried to identify their finds.
Some kind of loot!
 E struck it rich as well.
Then they got to see rocks that had special minerals that made them fluoresce under a black light.
See?
Learned a good bit about geodes.
 Cut one open, loudly, 
to reveal the beauty.
We hiked a beautiful trail 
 full of dinosaurs



Then we hit the sprinkler park,
 and the playground.
Watched the volcano erupt
and then ate ice cream, and journeyed home.
We are just loving these amazing summer days.
 HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD/GRANDPA! We love you.
We are leaving to go camping in a few hours for a couple of days. I am very excited to meet up for the first time with this lady!
 Should be good times...
Oh, before I forget, look at this guy living up at the barn. He is huge and he likes to be seen a lot.
I hope he eats mice.
And a very cool thing happened yesterday. We saw a pretty big frog get taken by a huge largemouth bass. 
It was most excellent that we got to see it happen.
You just never know what's gonna happen next!