Thursday, August 20, 2009

Oh I did it!

Somehow, I got on!
Sans rum, so I am going to post those photos in case I am off again for a while when I sign off.
That's what happened the last time, grr..
So anyway. The weather has been great and we have been outside lots. I can't believe, some of the trees in the woods are turning yellow, some red even. Theye are leaves on the road going up to the barn, and some in the drive way. It's inevitable. Fall is nearer than I'd like.
When A retires, I'd like to move where we have more spring and summer. Maybe the mountains of NC near Tenessee.
I was reminded yet again by the universe to enjoy the moment fully, whatever I may be doing.
While feeding the animals the other night at the barn, a baby chick got under foot of the horse and was crushed to death right in front of me.
It was horrible.
I just stared mouth agape.
I eventually went to the bird to hold it. It died seconds later.
The horse went on eating, she did not even realize she snuffed out poor little hen.
It was a freak event.
But to see something loose it's life. Just like that. Is sobering. Because life is life. And it can be over for any of us.
Just. Like.That.
Then to sink the concept deeper into my consciousness, Ev bashed his head on a rock at a birthday party yesterday.
Luckily, my boy has a thick skull. But playing merrily on the rocks one second, can easily be brain injury the next.
I saw the whole thing, did not have time to warn him that his jump would put him on a slick moss covered rock. I watched him flop on his back, and his head crack back on the rock.
Sometimes you land all right, sometimes you don't.
Live fully in the present.
The past is gone, and no longer really counts.
The future, no matter how much you plan and bank on it, does not really exist, and may never fully realize.
We only live in the now.
Enjoy the now.
I am also in a weird uncomfy place food wise.
I see and understand the value of all life. I know small farmers( if they are kind) and our animals live a great life, and when we did kill them to eat, we did so with respect and a bit of sadness. Big meat biz, just slaughters them, no cares for the animals welfare or perception of pain and fear, they live in horrid conditions, workers joke around casually as they take an animals life ( maybe it's a coping mechanism?), and the other animals watch and wait there turn.
I am deeply saddened and disturbed by this.
We have not eaten our chickens after the first foray in processing.
I think ultimately I will be a vegetarian. Lately, I am just having a hard time eating meat. It's been a while since I have. I am learning new recipes, and sooooo..
My kids are doing great. They are such dynamic, wonderful people with rich interests and a deep desire to explore. I can't believe how kids are treated all around us. Like they have no valid opinions, beliefs. That their thoughts and desires are small, and somehow hold very little value.
Not my kids.
Have they ever really spoke and truly listened to a child? I think they would be blown away by what they understand, and what they are capable of when given some reign and trust.
Sometimes I see kids being so berated, humiliated, disrespected, physically harmed.
This is an unacceptable way to treat other adults, and in some cases punishable by law, but it's ok to do to someone under 18, someone who unconditionally loves you?
It is so maddening.
Sometimes I want to stand up, be the voice for the child who is getting screamed at in the store. Who gets violently jerked around, to meet someone elses needs at the moment.
Partenership people.
Not because I said so, not because I told you to, not because ......
I love this life. I am so grateful I chose this path. I could never imagine sending them away everyday to be forced to learn at others paces, and things that they are not interested in at this time. Not to be one of the herd.What a way to wreck all the possible things that they have such passion for.
And for the wonderful people that we are connected with, in life, in here.
So grateful.
I was reminded the other day about the most amazing quote by Wayne Dyer
" When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change"
and then I found this post, and again, the meaning of our short time made sense for a moment.
Sometimes you get a glimpse.
Ok, ok, ok, see what happens when you see a poor animal suddenly die. She changed my whole being. Her life was not for naught. She was a big stepping stone on my journey.
Pictures then!
Well, my comp lost the connection and won't let me back on ( I'm on A's), soooooo, no pictures for you..
I would post them through this one, but silly me uploaded them all to Mac, and now has none to post from here.
Maybe my wifi ethernet card went bad? Or whatever that thing is called.
I'll have A call Apple. I would do it, but I get the people on the other end so damn confused.


MamaTea said...

Nice post.
Thanks for the reminders.
I need them.

Love 2B Homeschoolers said...

I kinda like it when you go picture-less and ramble a bit. You should consider doing it at least once a week. I wish I saw you more in person so I could hear it IRL.

Live in the present; yes that lesson is being forced upon me too...

Elemental Handcrafts said...

I love reading your blog. I'm inspired. Not to create a blog- yet- but to be thankful for life and what we have. You rock K.

Ruralmama said...

I enjoyed this post as well. I'm sorry about your chick, that's really a huge bummer. It looks like you are really re-thinking a huge pile of things right now, remember to breathe!! :-)
We too eat lots of vegetarian dishes at home, even though I wouldn't classify us as vegetarians. More like we're just poor. :-) There's still plenty to enjoy food-wise. But here's the real pivotal issue: do you like beans?

Take care!

mamak said...

Love beans RM!Maybe I will have a ramble day. That is always kinds good. for me. And Love 2b it's hard to get down to play group with these ones always makin diff plans for me...And welol elemental HC, you KNOW you give me so much to think about too, and i think YOU rock!

julie said...

how's E's head?
Great post - things I think about often, but never espress it!

Wish I was there to sit and chat!