Wednesday, February 13, 2008


You know how life gives us reminders sometimes of our infinite lameness. I'm not down on myself. I have secure self confidence and the ability to laugh at myself. Sometimes I am just so not bright.
Like the other day. I had to sign up to bring a snack and stickers to K's class Valentine's party. I signed on the wrong sheet for the wrong days and wrong time of class. Then after the teacher told me about it, I went to change it and I signed up at the right day but for the wrong time again.  Then the class Mom points out my error, I finally get it in the right space. But my name is crossed out on 2 of 3 lists. 
 Then I tell the teachers that I will bring a snack on Tuesday for Thursday because K won't be there, he will be at OSV. Umm, OSV was on Tuesday. I remembered my error on the ride there. So he was a no show, and I didn't call in, and no snacks appeared. So he will be there on Thursday, and my name is crossed out all over. Not a big deal, but I must look like the most organized Mom ever.  And I will probably forget the stickers.
Then there is today. I have known about our homeschool groups Valentine's day party for more than a week. I needed to make or buy 22 Valentine's day cards, bring craft supplies and a snack. That's all good, except when you put it off for 10 days.
 I really did want to go shop last night, but the snow... 
This morning I had to round up the crew, and go to Walmart. Of course I was so timely. I had to be there at 12:30 for Yoga before the party. It was 10:45 when we left. We flew around and gathered all the items. Cards, candies, Toll house instant bake cake crappy cookies, candy, crafts. We got home at 11:45.  I still have to bake the frigging cookies, fill out 22 cards, feed the kids and take a 15 min drive. 
I am flying around filling out cards and taping candy to them. Started baking cookies, and I forgot the timer; so I have no clue how long they are supposed to be in there. I toss left over sandwiches from yesterday at the kids. Literally. And cheese sticks. That was my good fortune in all of this. Ready lunch. The cookies look brownish, so I take them out to cool. I load the kids up, and go back to retrieve the cookies. 
In my haste, I never greased the damn pan. Now I am chiseling these horrid cookies of the sheet. Middles stuck down, edges chipped off. Whatever. I will not go cookieless after all of this! Finally, I get the last cookie on the plate, foil it and prepare to leave. I get in the car thinking maybe I can still do half the yoga class. 
I smell Poop.
Damn it.
Back in and change E. Then back out to the car and strap in. Survey our stuff to make sure we have everything. I have no clue where my keys are now. A lot of grumbling and going back and forth, I finally remember we do have a spare set. Ok, on the road and headed out. It's overcast and the GPS is giving me crap. I can't remember exactly how to get where I am going. Luckily 3/4 of the way there, at the most critical off crossroads it finds it's silly satellite.
I show up late, a yoga no show, with screwed up cookies. 
And my kids do not have festively decorated shoe boxes in which to receive cards. 
We have a Walmart bag.


Three Mommies said...

I have so been there. Some days I think that's the way life is supposed to run, but then I have a perfect day where every traffic light is green and the bank error is my favor and I remember that I don't control it all don't have to be perfect, and some days the universe likes me.

Hope today is smoother.

-Jean Elizabeth

love2bhomeschoolers said...

But once you got there you seemed so composed :-)

MamaK said...

Hee hee! I am a graceful lame ass, eh?-K

whimsigal said...

Oh how I laughed at this post because I've done all that stuff, too!! No worries, friend. Perfection is highly overrated. Now you have a funny story to remember!